I’ve spent numerous hours with the locals throughout the years. It’s an important part of life. Just sitting together in some breezy, shady area, preferably on a swing, having coffee (Nescafé is definitely the Maldivian national drink). People come, people go. Nobody ever says goodbye when leaving.

Without much knowledge of the language in the beginning, I would just listen and become an expert at reading faces. With time I knew the topics just from the way they talked. Politics, for example. You wouldn’t believe how they change. From easy and relaxed into full offensive mode in seconds. Just mention the opposite party, and they start shouting at each other, passionately defending their idols. It’s loud, it’s aggressive and very interesting to watch. Even on the news, or during live debates, it feels like you’re being attacked just by the tone itself.

Years later I caught myself doing the same. Not the shouting part, but joining the conversations without thinking twice. Somewhere along the way I stopped feeling like a guest, waiting to be invited in. The topic most regularly covered is always the latest gossip from the island. Who is cheating on whom (yes, you read that right), who got divorced, who didn’t pay their shop bill on time, how big someone’s tab is… you name it. On such a small island everyone knows everything about you. It’s funny, it’s always women who are accused of gossiping. Let me tell you, those guys beat any group of women any time.

One of my all-time favourites comes from a random afternoon at tea time. This is a great legacy from the days when the Maldives were still administered through British India. To this day, between 4 and 5 pm, it is tea time in pretty much every Maldivian home. Tea always comes with *hedhikaa*, or short eats. It’s a kind of finger food made from various ingredients, some sweet, some savoury and spicy.

So we are sitting at the table and a guy joins us with a packet of tea and some kind of grin on his face. Usually everyone drinks the tea prepared by the host, just plain black tea. The guy sits down, calls one of the staff over and gives instructions on how to make his tea. Everyone looks at him like, *what is that tea and why did you bring it?*

The tea he brought is slimming tea. The guy starts explaining that he needs to lose weight. He is getting old now (he’s in his forties, but already a grandfather, and therefore officially old) and needs to take care of his body. Also, he has a new girlfriend.

Immediately the guys all heat up, wanting to know everything about her. Meanwhile the waiter brings him his tea and he starts loading it with sugar. I’m just looking in awe as he doesn’t stop until spoon number four.I look around. Nobody seems to notice anything. But in my head there’s just one thought. *How on earth are you going to lose weight with four spoons of sugar in a single cup of tea?*

Then, in the middle of this heated debate about the girlfriend, someone leaves. Of course I expect him to come back. But no. Gone for the day. They come and go without words like hi, hello, goodbye or see you. Eventually someone says *dhaanvee* (let’s go) and everyone picks up their things and leaves. Tea time adjourned.

It took me years to get used to this.

One moment we are sitting in the garden, talking, browsing, saving the world. Someone stands up and leaves. Without a word. The first few times I assumed everyone was going to the bathroom. Then I thought maybe they were taking a phone call. Eventually I’d look around and ask, “Where’s Ahmed?” Someone would shrug.

Sometimes it was just me and one other person. The guy would leave and I’d wait. Wait. Eventually I realised he wasn’t coming back. There’s just no need for unnecessary words. I can see he left.

In original Dhivehi (the Maldivian language) there is also no word for “thank you”. Gratitude was shown with a gesture, a nod or a hand on the heart. No words were needed.

In time I got wonderfully attached to those same habits. I just stopped doing unnecessary things and using unnecessary words. Now I’m the one ending phone calls without saying goodbye or leaving a gathering just by standing up and going.

Very liberating.